Swans Commentary » swans.com June 18, 2007  



Walking The Dog


by Peter Byrne





(Swans - June 18, 2007)  

He:  What time did you say he comes on?

She:  Who?

He:  The guy with the dope on Iraq.

She:  The same time as usual.

He:  And that's when?

She:  You should know. You're always careful to miss him.

He:  It's going to be big tonight. They've got a new plan.

She:  That was last night.

He:  No, it's tonight. I read it in this morning's paper. An adjustment.

She:  Adjustment?

He:  Don't think clothes. It's a policy adjustment.

She:  That's tomorrow. I heard it on the kitchen radio. Something about a refreshening.

He:  Refreshening? Are you sure that wasn't a commercial?

She:  Refreshening a policy. Don't think after-shave.

He:  That means a big boy's getting canned.

She:  Uh huh. But the new man always has the same uniform.

He:  It's not the same uniform.

She:  Who irons those things?

He:  Come on. Don't talk like a housewife.

She:  Well, that's what I am.

He:  Look, you can count the stars on the general's uniform. That's how you tell generals apart.

She:  But they call them all five-star generals.

He:  Where have you been? There's an admiral now too.

She:  Doesn't he have stars?

He:  Anchors. But that's not the point. There's a sure way to tell one general from another.

She:  You ask the little woman who's ironed his kit?

He:  No need. You look at his haircut.

She:  And?

He:  The new man always has the sharper haircut.

She:  Sharper? You mean more stylish?

He:  No, just sharper. More determined.

She:  That stands to reason, I guess. He's fresh. But why isn't the uniform of the guy going out ever crumpled?

He:  It can't be. They're all top men.

She:  Why don't they put in a ten-star general and finish the thing?

He:  Ha! There you go with your vacuum cleaner again. The stars have to stop somewhere. Do you expect a dozen-star general?

She:  Why not? He would really be a top man without a wrinkle.

He:  Look, sweetheart, there's top and over the top.

She:  I suppose you're right. But that would be first-class surgery.

He:  Surgery? You get everything wrong out there in the kitchen. It's surge. They're doing a surge. Surgery is a strike when they don't kill the wrong people.

She:  Okay. I'm going to bed. Or shall I take the pooch for a spin?

He:  That's a man's job. Leave it to me.

She:  By the way, you've missed the guy with the new dope on Iraq.

He:  Ah, well, I'll catch him next time.


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About the Author

Peter Byrne on Swans (with bio).



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This Edition's Internal Links

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Swans -- ISSN: 1554-4915
URL for this work: http://www.swans.com/library/art13/pbyrne38.html
Published June 18, 2007