Swans Commentary » swans.com December 31, 2007 - January 1, 2008  



Infamously Incredible Predictions For 2008


by Carol Warner Christen





(Swans - December 31, 2007 - January 1, 2008)  

-   Dennis Kucinich will be elected president of the United States of America in 2008.

-   The Pentagon will shrink to the size of a postage stamp and be mailed to Alpha Centauri.

-   The Trilateral Commission, the Council on Foreign Relations, and the Bilderberg Group will all board a space ship and follow the Pentagon. Kissinger will be aboard all of the ships.

-   We, the People, will build the space ship and outfit it as suits us.

-   The three branches of government will go directly to jail if any of them take monies or ideas from corporations instead of the People. Thank heaven the jails are now large enough to hold them!

-   Corporations will be shrunk to any size their state of origin desires bereft of the rights of persons.

-   All weapons designed to kill human beings will be first tested on the board members of the designing corporation. If they survive, the weapon may have a small amount of merit; if not, in their next lifetime they will be more careful about what they wish for others.

-   The president will not write laws or signing statements and will adhere to the original duties of the Executive Branch in 1776. He will be tested orally and in public weekly.

-   The current president will dunk himself in Boston Harbor like the tea bag he is, sail on a frigate to The Hague, and surrender for trial for crimes against humanity.

-   The entire Congress will be replaced by honest and decent persons with each district represented by both genders at the same time. The infighting alone will save taxpayers trillions of dollars.

-   The light will dawn that, because all humans can mate with each other and produce viable children who can mate with anyone, there is only one race on the planet: human.

-   God will refuse to be the scapegoat for wars, death, or destruction based on human ideas. God will say this to those who can see and hear the Deity. Will the president be there to witness the phenomenon?

-   Corporate bribes to officials to undo the public's rights paid by the People will be distributed to the poor.

-   Anyone using the term "bad guys" in an official capacity will write essays on "Trial by Jury" and "The Bill of Rights." The People will grade the paper. The newspapers will publish it. Ghost writers will not be allowed. A grade of C+ or better will be required to remain in the job or office.

-   Promises made by anyone after the end of the Mayan calendar (12/21/12) are iffy, at best; since it is the day a huge giant falls out of what appears to be a wormhole from the center of the galaxy in the Mayan pictographs. This will astonish Americans.

-   Corporations may not pay monies to any warmongers of the political and pentagonal religious persuasion using righteous wrath to kill other humans whose wealth they wish to steal out of envy and pretended need. The penalty is a corporate death sentence. Let us count the possible ways...

-   The president will be reminded to stop his sin of pride by pretending only wealthy Americans are good and wonderful and deserve to run the world with him as dictator. Did we vote for that? When? The details are so fuzzy.

-   A state will be able to imprison its corporations according to all the laws of the state until, and unless, corporations renounce harming the public. This is really what those big detention camps are for, right?

-   Monkeys are moving into cities in India and will be able to vote when they become a majority. The deer and elk here are doing the same but they are not as closely related to us as monkeys. It is hard for them to use facilities like monkeys see and monkeys do, which is also political.

-   Corporate politicos who want favors from the public or governmental sectors will dress in jester costumes with pointed hats and toes before any hearing, public or private; if they also sing and dance for us, so much the better.

-   The dictionary does not call voting by machine "secret ballots." A ballot is a small ball or ticket or piece of paper to be counted. A machine is efficient in counting but not for counting votes because it is under the control of -- oh, no, not again -- corporations instead of voting districts! Corporations are pseudo-persons without consciences or accountability. Submit papers to the contrary to your local officials. Majority wins.

-   My most egregiously infamous prediction is this for 2008: the United States will have a coup d'état and a pair of dictators will announce their own appointment of themselves by themselves to rule us. Can you guess who these two are? Am I wrong? Try to imagine my relief if I am. Oh, happy day! Oh, hip, hip hooray!


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Internal Resources

Patterns which Connect

America the 'beautiful'

US Elections & Democracy


About the Author

Carol Warner Christen on Swans (with bio)... Woman born 1939, twice married, five children, 7 grandchildren; own a goat farm, rural Oregon after years in Chicago area and Ohio; Associate of Arts, Chicago Art Institute (1 year); artist, editor, mechanical design drafting supervisor; owned two computer companies before anyone had a computer; activist; antiwar; human.



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This Edition's Internal Links

2008 Infamous Predictions™ - SWANS

Message To Our Readers - Gilles d'Aymery

Parting Words - Charles Marowitz

Acrimonious Acronyms And The USA FUBAR - Jan Baughman

Dodo Lives - Martin Murie

Of Sunnis, Shi'ites, And Strauss - Michael Doliner

The Insurgent Word: Surge - Gerard Donnelly Smith

No Beauty Will Win The Beauty Contest - Philip Greenspan

Five Films, Three Operas, And A Mystery Symphony In New York - Isidor Saslav

On The Dinka Express - Book Review by Peter Byrne

Priapic And Libidinous - Humor by Marie Rennard

Journey To The Sleep Doors: Sybilla - Poem by Guido Monte & Francesca Saieva

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Swans -- ISSN: 1554-4915
URL for this work: http://www.swans.com/library/art14/carenc25.html
Published December 31, 2007 - January 1, 2008