(Swans - August 1, 2011)
Charles Marowitz (CM): What do you say to critics that contend you "talk a good show" but do not deliver the goods; that in your presidency rhetoric is a substitute for action?
President Obama (BO): I tell them that the purpose of rhetoric is to conceal embarrassing truths that, if revealed, would bring the nation to ruin. They call it the "bully pulpit" but it seems to me the bullying is coming only from the right which, as Groucho sings in Duck Soup "Whatever it is, I'm Against It!"
CM: Are you saying a president should lie to his country?
BO: Certainly not, but politics without false embellishments is like a stage play with the curtain down.
CM: When are you going to pull all the troops out of Afghanistan and Pakistan?
BO: When the cow jumps over the moon.
CM: You work in tandem with Hillary Rodham Clinton. Why did you want her in your cabinet?
BO: I felt it was the best way to get her hubby off my back.
CM: What do you most enjoy about being president?
BO: That nobody tries to frisk me at the airports.
CM: Who, in your opinion, has been the most outstanding American president?
BO: Ronald Reagan, without a doubt.
CM: Why Ronald Reagan?
BO: He was terrific in Bedtime For Bonzo, should have won the Oscar that year but they gave it to that crummy ham, Brando.
CM: What do you feel is the most distressing thing about America today?
BO: That if you want a smoke you have to do it in the john.
CM: Regarding the 2012 election, do you think Sarah Palin is going to throw her hat into the ring?
BO: I hope so, followed -- by her bra and panties. Every presidential election needs a little sex in the mix.
CM: Do you get along with Joe Biden?
CM: Your vice president.
BO: The name is familiar but I can't quite place it.
CM: What do you feel about the rise of the Tea Party?
BO: Every election cycle needs some comic relief.
CM: How do you feel about Michele Bachman?
BO: A little sad. She claimed she had been summoned to run for president by the voice of God, but it turned out she was a victim of one of Rupert Murdoch's Internet hackers. You can't help feeling sorry for the lady.
CM: How do you think you will go down in history?
BO: As the man who clearly demonstrated that there's no such thing as bipartisanship.
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