A Great Man

by Deck Deckert

November 3, 2003


"Mr. Bush is such a great president," I said to my Martian friend Yyuran. "Such a great man."

"He's a liar."

"Big deal. He told a few white lies to get people to support the war in Iraq. I'm glad he did. Otherwise we never would have got rid of Saddam."

"You didn't get him. He is still missing."

"A technicality. He is out of power. And the Iraqi people are free and love us for it."

"They love you so much that they keep killing your soldiers."

"Terrorists," I said. "A few terrorists and a few die-hard Saddam supporters are doing the killing."

"And Iraqi patriots who object to foreign invaders." Before I could complain about his calling terrorists 'patriots,' he went on:

"More than 230 attacks in one week doesn't sound like a few."

I was working out how best to answer him when he switched the subject. He's good at that.

"He lied about the tax cut."

"What are you talking about? He got us two good tax cuts."

"He said the tax cuts would help everyone, but they mostly benefit the rich."

"That's because the rich pay most of the taxes," I said comfortably. I know we are strange to him but sometimes he is so naïve. He ignored me, as he often does. It's very irritating.

He switched subjects, again.

"He lied about education."

"What are you talking about?"

"He promised to be the education president."


"But his budget asks for billions less than Congress approved for education programs, billions less than is needed."

"Oh, well, those are federal programs. Education is better handled locally."

"He lies regularly about the environment."

"Oh come on," I said. I wished he wouldn't keep pulling out the carpet from under me, as it were. Every time I thought of a really good reply to one of his remarks, he'd sidetrack me.

"He said that, and I'm quoting him, 'Clear Skies legislation, when passed by Congress, will significantly reduce smog and mercury emissions, as well as stop acid rain. It will put more money directly into programs to reduce pollution, so as to meet firm national air-quality goals...'"

"He is such an elegant speaker," I said admiringly.

"Actually, the law doesn't do any of this. It delays required emission cuts by as much as 10 years and allows polluting plants to skirt pollution-control upgrades. In other words, he lied."

"You're nit picking."

"He has never told the truth about 9/11."

"I suppose you are going to drag up those tired old conspiracy theories. Bush knew about it ahead of time, or he planned it, or some other silly nonsense."

"There are hundreds of unanswered questions about that day, but I'm talking about the White House refusing to give documents to the commission investigating 9/11."

"Oh that. Just a little turf war."

"Bush can do no wrong?"

"Well, ...."

He interrupted me, again, with his incredibly irritating laugh. "And then there is the matter of the 'Mission Accomplished' sign on the aircraft carrier he landed on at what he said was the end of the war."

"What about it?" I said, beginning to get annoyed.

"He's gotten a lot of criticism about it, so he blamed the sailors. Said it was their idea."

"Whatever," I said, getting bored with his pitiful attempts to put Mr. Bush down. "History will show what a great man he is."

He just laughed.

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Related Internal Links: The Yyuran Series

He Lied (Oct. 2003)

They Would Not Impeach Bush, Would They? (July 2003)

They Impeach Presidents, Don't They? (June 2003)

Landing A Campaign Visual (May 2003)

It's Just Good Business (Oct. 2002)

Untangling The Mideast For A Martian (July 2002)

The Wrong Stuff (May 2002)

We Are A Peaceful People (March 2002)

A Famous Victory (Jan. 2002)

Explaining Nukes to a Martian (Feb. 2001)

Iraq on Swans

Humor on Swans


Deck Deckert has spent nearly two decades as copy editor, wire editor and news editor at several metropolitan newspapers, including the Miami Herald and Miami News, before becoming a freelance writer. His articles and stories on everything from alligator farming to UFOs have appeared in numerous U.S. publications. He has written two young adult novels under a pen name, and co-authored a novel about the NATO war on Yugoslavia, Letters from the Fire, with Alma Hromic.

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This Week's Internal Links

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The Word Of Choice - by Vanessa Raney

Work Is Easy -- The Art Of Accomplished Leisure Is Hard - by Phil Rockstroh

Virtue In The Margin - by Richard Macintosh

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Nauseous - Poem by Scott Orlovsky

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Published November 3, 2003
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